Someone told their anti-woke cousin it’s woke to add beans to chilli, and the internet enjoyed it much more than the furious cousin

On a throwaway Reddit account named u/WokeBeans, someone detailed for the r/AITAH (Am I the asshole?) forum how they seem to have accidentally caused a family rift.

They put the question –

“AITA for pretending to think beans in chili are “woke”, to prank my Cousin who is obsessed with being “anti woke” and who loves chili?”

The anti-woke, anti-DEI, anti-everything apart from millionaires agenda is the flavour of the month in the US – and by month, we mean 48 months. Not so much God bless America as God help America.

Some people, like the poster’s cousin, have well and truly drunk the KoolAid. Here’s what happened.

My cousin is known for making chili. And he’s good at it. He makes his own chili flakes from his “secret combination” of various dried chilies, it has a very nice kick. It’s like the perfect amount of spice, it’s hot but not too hot. He also always adds kidney beans. Not canned beans either.

Anyways for the past 2 or 3 years by Cousin has become obsessed with all this bullshit about what is or isn’t “woke” and how “woke” things are the end of the world. He’s always been a good dude so I don’t know what his bag is but he is completely obsessed. It’s annoying.

So the other weekend I was at his place and he was making his famous chili. So I got the idea for a little prank. I was like “I’m surprised you still put beans in your chili.” He was like “What? Why?” I was like “Beans in chili are so woke. Everyone is saying so.” He was like “What do you mean?” And he was like genuinely concerned. As if this was something serious. I said something like “Yeah beans in chili are woke, the original conservative Texans who made chili only used meat and chili. San Francisco liberals started adding beans to chili in the 60’s because so many hippies were vegetarian. Now all the woke scientists are saying beans are a better protein source than meat.” He didn’t say anything to that.

I kind of just assumed he’d know I was fucking with him and get the joke. We have always fucked around with each other and jokes about and all. But he was quiet all dinner.

Just yesterday I was back again at his place and he was making his chili again. There were no beans. It was a totally different chili. This guy has been making his chili with beans for like 15 years. I was like, whats up? “Where’s the beans?”

He was like “I don’t fuck with that woke shit.” I was like “What?” He was like “Beans in chili are woke. Even you know that.”

Everyone else was like what? Because….what? I was like dude I was just fucking with you. He got REALLY angry. He dumped his chili in the sink and told everyone to go home. I thought he was pranking me back or something but he was serious. The dude totally lost it.

He texted me later and said this exact thing: “I researched this online and it turns out u really were lying to me, beans r not woke. How could u do this?”

We went back and forth for a bit. His position is even though we have historically pranked each other I went “too far”, that I “betrayed him”, that I “made him question his chili”. I tried to ask him if this at all made him think he cared too much about “woke”, like what if beans in chili WAS woke, so what? He ignored that and demanded I apologize.

Did I take this too far?

tl;dr They told their anti-woke, chilli-making cousin that it’s woke to add beans to chilli. He believed them, ruined his chilli recipe, then turned nasty when he found out it was a prank – causing a rift between the previously close cousins.

Redditors absolutely did not think they had taken it too far – in fact, some thought it hadn’t gone far enough.

1.

That’s fucking hilarious. He’s so damned fixated on what other people say is woke or not woke that he’ll sabotage his own cooking. He handed you that material to prank him with on a silver platter and he needs to get over it.
mittenknittin

2.

Next say reacting badly to a joke is “woke.”

Demanding an apology is “woke.”

If he reacts, say reacting is “woke.”
wayofintegrity

3.

Use the words ‘triggered’ and ‘snowflake’, and ask him if he needs a ‘safe space’ for his chili
AdAccomplished6876

4.

Fr dude got gaslit by his own paranoia imagine throwing away 15 years of perfect chili over a joke.
starlightrayzo

5.

Chilibricked his plumbing to own the lib.
SilentExecutioner

6.

He also needs to accept that he’s an easily impressionable manchild who doesn’t even understand what he’s even upset about. If you will alter something as dear to you as the chili is to him over a dog whistle, you ain’t fucking smart bro.
NexusMaw

7.

NTA You made him question his beliefs in a smart way, and he got upset. All you did was show him how sensitive he really is.
Successful-Topic8874

Sadly, he only questioned his belief in chili, not his knee-jerk reaction to reject anything supposedly woke.
Shmeeglez

8.

NTA. He went full snowflake over the woke chili, nice.
Cautious-clue-7861

9.

Actually, you might have invented a new party game. People give each other topics and you have to argue why whatever-it-is is totally woke.
Anarchist-Rat-Swarm

10.

The anti-woke brigade at some point needs to ask themselves: “Are we the triggered?”
SFIYAmUKHAMATOVA

11.

Nta double down Bro did you know that knowing what’s woke is actually super woke. Like you have to know all about wokeness to avoid being woke so really if you think about it avoiding wokeness is the most woke thing you can do.

I would be clowning him nonstop.
Mean-Impress2103

12.

NTA: Oh my gosh – this needs to happen a LOT more so that people eventually see the idiocy of their anti-woke sentiments.
Mastergas9570

13.

My new year’s resolution is now going to be to use “You made me question my chili!” at least 7 different times. And no I don’t care whether it’s February already.

Other than that, NTA, but you’re a hilarious dude I’d love to buy a beer if I could.
endor-pancakes

14.

Are there no limits to what the woke mob will ruin? Soon I’ll have to eat plain white toast and nothing else to own the libs. Where will the madness end?
potatopierogie

15.

Bro really took a bean joke as a personal attack. This is the kind of prank I aspire to. NTA, keep doing the lord’s work.
cheerfuldreambloom

16.

That is hilarious. I’m impressed you were able to improv that story on the spot. I am chuckling as I read. “Turns out u really were lying to me, beans r not woke” with the single letters, is the funniest thing I’ve read all day.

NTA He was an AH to himself by going so far down this rabbit hole
antiherowriting

Bitter-Emphasis-2683 had more news for the cousin.

If it’s not from the Chill district of Texas, it is just sparkling stew.

He actually sounds gullible enough to fall for it.

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Source r/AITAH Image Wikimedia Commons