25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
chocolate is so weird like wow this tastes so good but also it kills dogs
— e l l a (@blondehotcoffee) March 10, 2025
14.
You can’t scare me, I’ve rehearsed a 20 second phone call for 20 minutes and still hung up when they answered
— Ⓜ️isterD (@MisterD78UK) March 9, 2025
15.
CNN said the world is $217 trillion dollars in debt… who tf we owe? The Decepticons?
— ☠️ (@c0mmandderr) March 8, 2025
16.
They called him Sleepy Joe because we could sleep at night.
— Mueller, She Wrote (@MuellerSheWrote) March 10, 2025
17.
I like how The Pope's page looks like he's scored a late winner and is giving the away end some grief. pic.twitter.com/qQXx2QB16I
— John Smith (@verypopularname) March 11, 2025
18.
The parking signs outside a Laser Eye Surgery Center. pic.twitter.com/VwlhUD3gen
— Tony P. (@Tbone7219) March 12, 2025
19.
There are three certainties in life:
1) death
2) taxes
3) no matter how large the order, your Chinese take-out will always be ready in 15 minutes— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 13, 2025
20.
You want me to clean the bathtub? The thing that has soap and water in it all the time? Do I look like a sucker to you?
— (@MoMohler) March 10, 2025
21.
big electricity doesn’t want you to know about this https://t.co/vcbKGx33ia
— certain planes ✈️ (@happier_isles) March 11, 2025
22.
I can’t wait for AI girlfriends to become advanced enough to reject the kind of guys who want AI girlfriends.
— Scrümbled Eggs (@scrumble_eggs) March 11, 2025
23.
Not my monkeys, not my typewriters.
— yeah ok (@poutinesmoothie) March 12, 2025
24.
I should sleep standing up. Horses do it. Horses are jacked. Hey, Mike, have you been working out? No I just sleep like a horse now.
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) March 11, 2025
25.
89 hours in to a 120 hour fast. My focus is sharper. I have more energy. I have unlocked a deleted scene in saving private ryan where they look at the camera and tell me I can save the entire unit by going to Costco and biting the 3rd man I see in the face
— Will Sennett (@Senn_Spud) March 14, 2025
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Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
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