‘People who are immune to a-holes, what’s your secret?’ – 21 ways to navigate annoyances with calm and serenity

Hell is other people, as Jean-Paul Sartre told us, but, unfortunately, we have to put up with our fellow humans, even when they’re incredibly annoying. So, how do we get along with people that we’d love nothing more than to bop on the nose?

Reddit user VelvetWhitehawk asked:

People who are immune to a-holes, what’s your secret? How are you not disturbed by rude, bossy, stubborn people who refuse to negotiate? How do you work with them, and without getting upset?

And lots of people chimed in with sage advice that will help to avoid a punch up.

1.

‘I become robotic. I give them the bare minimum, in a polite but firm tone. I do not engage in any unnecessary conversation. It gets old for them quickly.’
–DotCottonCandy

2.

‘Keep your voice the same volume as when you started the conversation, don’t increase it even by 1% if they start shouting. If they have any sense of shame, they might recognise they’re in the wrong. If they completely lack that, then they’ll simply look worse in front of other people at least.’
–D-Rez

3.

‘No one is ever as important as they think they are, and I get to choose who I spend my time on and with.’
–kickasstimus

4.

‘It’s not personal. It’s their own shit making them act that way. Why should I carry the burden of their disregulated emotions?’
–beeksy

5.

‘There are two secrets to life, my friend, just two. Master them and you will be happy and successful.

The first is simple: Be On Time. There is a hypotheses that says late people are late because they are exerting power and control over a situation. When someone is late, it impacts everyone, disrupts everything, and the late person is the center of (bad) attention. Just don’t be late.

The second is infinitely harder: Control Your Reaction. You are the master of your universe and your reality is how you interact with it. If you give others the power to upset you, you’ve become their plaything. If someone has a suggestion on how to do your job better, what does it hurt to listen? Someone yells at you? Pity them – they’ve lost control.

Be On Time and Control Your Reaction. Two concepts, six words. That’s it.’
–I_Want_an_Elio

6.

‘When I hear somebody say something, stupid, I pensively look at them, remain quiet, ignore them for a moment and completely and totally ignore what they said and go on with my moment and day. That really gets to them.’
–LeCourougejuive

7.

‘Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from. Makes life so much easier. There is only a handful of people I’ll take advice from, everyone else can shove it.’
–The_Hard_Truth69

8.

‘Hanlon’s razor. Never attribute to malice what could be attributed stupidity/ignorance. It’s amazing how much better you feel when you decide sometimes people just don’t know any better.’
–Discount_Lex_Luthor

9.

‘Lots of good answers here. If you don’t have to work with them, don’t. However, if you do have to work with them (job, family, whatever) just remember they are people too and somebody or something made them this way. In a year nobody will care about whatever moment you are dealing with them.’
–Ok-Lawfulness-3138

10.

‘I worked customer service for a mail order pharmacy over a decade ago. Often times there would be plenty of upset customers who didn’t get their medications due to insurance reasons. Politely I would try to explain what happened but I’d almost always get cut off by yelling. I would sit in silence for a long time well after they finished ranting because most people were just looking for a reaction. That long silent pause had most customers questioning themselves and I’d almost always get an apology.’
–Hot_Estimate3056

11.

‘It’s a lot of fun to react calmly to people who expect to get a rise out of you. It infuriates them.’
–dystopiadattopia