Jesse Watters’ rule against ‘real men’ wishing each other a happy birthday is the gift that keeps on giving – 15 top takedowns
We’re not sure when Jesse Watters decided he was the arbiter of what is and isn’t manly, but the Fox News presenter has certainly taken his duties seriously.
Things judged too feminine for men to consider have so far included –
Eating soup in public.
Using a straw.
Crossing their legs in public.
Voting for women.
Going shopping with their wives.
We’re not sure whether his pronouncements have earned him the attention he clearly so desperately seeks from Andrew Tate, but he recently revisited a former manliness rule that might do the trick.
Watters: Men don't wish other men happy birthday pic.twitter.com/aLmUudiKov
— Acyn (@Acyn) March 28, 2025
It doesn’t look like he convinced anybody. In fact, his hot take just got him dragged.
1.
This guy may just be the biggest loser in America https://t.co/uMs0vhDeJR
— MeidasTouch (@MeidasTouch) March 28, 2025
2.
No, it's just nobody tells Jesse Watters "happy birthday" because he's a POS and nobody likes him; not even his own mother.
— ______ (@thatswithanH) March 28, 2025
3.
Jesse Watters must have grew up in a fatherless home. ♀️ https://t.co/ac345kSxBc
— Charli Huxley (@ImKnotTheOne) March 28, 2025
4.
Jester Watters is the most insecure man in America. "Happy birthday" is gay now? Jesus bro this dude was never loved
— Elite E Man (@Eman856) March 28, 2025
5.
This guy was got to be one of the weirder units out there.
All his gear is like Chuck Norris manliness for people whose kids don’t talk to them anymore https://t.co/XuBBkbMmRU
— Rhett Semetery (@RhettRum_) March 28, 2025
6.
Correction: men don’t wish Jesse Watters happy birthday
— FeralAdoration (@hardcorps80204) March 28, 2025
7.
Men: there’s a male loneliness epidemic
Also men: https://t.co/EtCOZpebr5
— Regan Opel (@reganopel) March 28, 2025
8.
I'll be dead and in the ground before I listen to this Pile of Insecurities in a suit tell me how to be a man. https://t.co/RccMG9fIZy
— Topher (@Dr_Freshey) March 28, 2025
9.
Parents, hug your kids once in a while. Give them some kind of acknowledgement/attention. Teach them to make friends. Because we don't need more Jesse Watterses in the future. https://t.co/eRU9tDhXkk
— GB Lukee (@gb_lukee) March 28, 2025
10.
Jesse Watters says men don’t wish other men happy birthday — because nothing screams strength like being emotionally constipated over a calendar date. Imagine being so fragile that another guy saying “Happy Birthday, bro” threatens your entire sense of manhood.
This is what peak…
— Thomas St James (@Thomasstjames3) March 28, 2025
11.
Im beginning to suspect his "Rules For Men" are really just "Rules For The Friendless" https://t.co/sxbtKAQ4hK
— William Cammarota Jr (@BillCammarotaJr) March 28, 2025
12.
I still don’t understand his schtick. Is he supposed to be satire? https://t.co/7khTaNECOk
— sb (@sethberger24) March 28, 2025
13.
Disagree. Courtesy is masculine. https://t.co/j1SH0rxbty
— Kyle Riley (@Smileyyeg) March 28, 2025
14.
Assholes don't wish other people happy birthday – fixed it. https://t.co/eujSf1W1jb
— Yep Ok (@YepOkSure) March 28, 2025
15.
Jesse Watters is such a fucking loser. Expressing platonic love is one of the most fun and manly things you can do. https://t.co/f9KBzaHf1u
— Keegan | Wyatt Family Forever (@prmskpr) March 28, 2025
It all begs the question –
Christ is there anything men *can* do? https://t.co/m4xTOgHH0B
— Abolish the NY Democratic party (@NewY0rkDemocrat) March 28, 2025
Cheesy Gordita Brett added this –
Incoming clips of Watters wishing other men happy birthday in 3,2,1….
— Cheesy Gordita Brett (@CreampieOrDie) March 28, 2025
Not quite, but …
You get the picture.
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Source Acyn Image Wikimedia Commons, Pexels
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