People have been sharing the stupid stuff they totally believed as kids – 21 fabulously crushing confusions and disappointments

Children are credulous little beings, given to believing all sorts of nonsense without any evidence. And, given that the UK has a lot of strange traditions and turns of phrase, British kids end up with heads full of hogwash that isn’t dispelled until they reach adulthood.

Over on the AskUK subreddit, user TheresJustNoMoney asked ‘What childhood misconception did you have about a UK concept that sounds hilariously stupid in retrospect?’ and followed it up with this example:

‘When I was in elementary school (your primary school), I learned about Guy Fawkes night. I didn’t know what ‘effigy’ meant, so I thought, upon reading that effigies of Guy Fawkes were burned at the stake every November 5th, that meant people who looked like Guy Fawkes.

‘So I essentially thought that anybody who were doppelgängers of Guy Fawkes would be captured then burned alive on November 5th, so I had hoped to never end up looking anything like Guy Fawkes if I ever ended up moving to the UK. Then later on, I figured out an effigy was just essentially a straw mannequin, not a real person who was a lookalike.’

Plenty of people jumped in with stories about the times they had been completely confused as kids.

1.

‘I thought a cream tea was a normal cuppa but with double cream in instead of milk.’
–KneedaFone

2.

‘I went to a CofE school but we weren’t exactly a religious family, I thought Sunday School was for children who were falling behind and needed an extra day at school to catch up.’
–Martipar

3.

‘I originally thought CofE meant ‘Centre of excellence’.’
–Jills89

4.

‘My parents were always full of what we’d do at the weekend. We’d go to xyz at the weekend. I’d see granny at the weekend. I could spend time with them at the weekend. My excitement grew for weeks. I was so longing for this mythical time. One day when I was bored I asked the question. When is it going to be the weekend? Dad said it was Sunday and nearly over. I was so upset.’
–TheBikerMidwife

5.

‘My friend misheard ‘synagogue’ as ‘cinema’ and was well jealous all his Jewish friends got to go to the cinema every Saturday.’
–qbnaith

6.

‘I used to think there was a place called Random. And people from there were picked for prizes. Idk why only the town/city of Random was where they picked winners from, but my kid mind never questioned it. I guess if you win a prize you move to Random.’
–justareddituser2022

7.

‘Right next to Leicester prison is Nelson Mandela park. I thought it was called that because that’s the prison Mandela did his time in.’
–Choccybizzle

8.

‘I heard about guerrilla warfare on John Craven’s Newsround and thought that they trained gorillas to fight like Planet Of The Apes.’
–Super-Celebration248

9.

‘Blesh shoe.’
–welovetulips

10.

‘When I was a child aged around 6 and heard on the news that someone had been “remanded in custody ” I thought it meant they had been put in a big bowl of custard!’
–Sea_Pangolin3840

11.

‘I asked my mother if we could also help the police with their enquiries, after hearing this expression so much on the news.’
–Ok-Decision403