Cars Of The Future ‘Will Detect Flatulence’ In Drivers

Tech News: Ford says that the next generation of cars will anticipate farts before they happen, then bring the vehicle to a safe halt and open the doors to ensure passengers don’t choke.

The car manufacturer says that all future models will have sensors fitted in seats that are able to detect ‘micro trumps’ from the driver or passengers, allowing enough time to pull over safely and automatically open the doors to waft some fresh air into the vehicle before ‘the main event’ hits.

“It’s dangerous to be trapped in a vehicle with an unexpectedly powerful guff,” said a Ford spokesman. “Hurtling along at 70mph surrounded by a thick, beefy fog can lead to serious accidents – but here at Ford we aim to change that.”

“When the incredibly sensitive hardware detects the slightest flutter of the anus oboe the car’s computer takes over and safely guides the vehicle to the side of the road – then pops open the doors and boot, to ensure any stink is not contained.”

Ford also say that the car seats will be highly flammable, making them easier to dispose of if someone really ruins the upholstery with their brown thunder.

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