New Met Office Supercomputer To Settle All Online Arguments
Science News: The Met Office is to get a new £97m supercomputer, capable of advanced weather forecasting as well as settling all internet arguments in a reasonable way.
The new computer, due to become operational next September, will work 13 times faster than the current system – enabling both detailed UK-wide forecast models, as well as the ability to sort out all disagreements between twats on Twitter and Facebook.
“Britain currently faces two major problems, namely unpredictable severe weather incidents and twats shouting on the internet,” said a Met Office spokesman.
“It will allow us to add more precision, more detail, more accuracy to our weather forecasts and it’s also powerful enough to near-instantly bring to an end any bitter cyber-spats over political correctness gone mad, immigration, gender inequality and if Breaking Bad was really as good as everyone said it was.”