Londoners can now live in a cutlery drawer for £500 a week

DESPERATE LONDONERS are now being forced to live in cutlery drawers due to high housing demand and greedy landlords.

Prospective tenants are being asked to fork out two thousand pounds a month to live inside the drawer in posh South Kensington. Three other cutlery drawers are also available for rent, creating what the landlord calls ‘a community feeling’.

“Obviously the drawer will be emptied before the new tenant moves in,” said a spokesman for the estate agents Foxtons.

“With people seriously struggling to find somewhere to live in the capital we wouldn’t expect them to share a drawer with some forks and those corn on the cob holders that never get used. That would be ridiculous. Tenants will have to provide their own cutlery.”

London Mayor Boris Johnson has congratulated the landlord for his creativity in ‘thinking outside the box’ then making people pay ‘breathtaking amounts of money to live in that box’.

“Ha ha ha ha, wow. Fucking hell,” said someone who lives and works outside the M25.