French campaign to resist terrorism through drinking gets off to a flying start

French culture remained unbowed today, with the resistance movement starting in earnest at around 12.30 with a cold glass of rosé.

“These vile terrorists are trying to attack our way of life,” said office worker Thierry Dubois. “That’s why this lunchtime I ordered one more bottle of wine than usual, bringing the total to three.”

All across the country French people seized the opportunity to breathe patriotic spirits into the face of terror.

“After coffee I would have usually returned to the office at about 3pm,” Monsieur Dubois continued. “As a mark of defiance however, today I had several cognacs, a cigar and have not yet returned at all. Voilà.”

“I’ve been training my whole life for this,” said teacher Sophie Gayme, topping up her glass. “These people are messing with a nation of hardened professionals.”

Claret, Burgundy and even a cheeky little Beaujolais have all been singled out as tools of resistance.

“And let’s not forget Cote Du Rhône,” said retired taxi driver Emile Roche. “There’s nothing that says ‘fuck you ISIS’ better than a perfect blend of Syrah and Grenache grape varieties. Vive La France!”