New Eastenders set to feature ridiculously unaffordable housing

The new EastEnders set, located in the fictional east London neighbourhood of Walford, is expected to be completed by 2018 and will be 20% bigger than the original.

The extension will reportedly consist of vacant houses that either nobody can afford to buy or have been bought by foreign investors as ‘safety deposit boxes’ and are uninhabited nearly all the time.

“Aside from the unaffordable homes we also plan to boost the realism of Albert Square by turning 75% of the shops into estate agents, relocating the market to Luton and closing the Queen Vic pub so it can be turned it into luxury flats,” said a BBC spokesman.

“It will really help make our fictional corner of east London as authentic as the real one – if there’s enough money left over we might even be able to afford some people on Penny Farthings to ride past during some scenes.”