“Stressed” Iain Duncan Smith found screaming “fit for work” at gravestones

Duncan Smith is said to have become ‘obsessed’ with Department for Work and Pensions target figures and declaring both long-dead people and inanimate objects fit for work in the last six months.

Apart from screaming at the graves of people who died in the eighteenth century, IDS was also recently seen in the Tottenham branch of the office supply shop Staples, screaming at shredders and printers.

“I think all the fuss about the Brexit might be taking its toll on him,” said one government insider. “That, and the guilt of being responsible for thousands of people who died soon after being found fit to work in disability benefit tests.”

“Still I suppose he’s just making sure those people really did die 300 years ago, and aren’t just being lazy – lying there, decomposing, probably planning how to exploit the benefits system.”