The 25 funniest Twitter jokes about Christmas
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas: there are lights blinking incessantly in every street, the shops are well stocked with booze, toys and cheese platters and people feel justified in wearing the ugliest jumpers known to man. And over on Twitter, they’re sharing their thoughts on the festive season.
Read the funniest 25.
1.
Source: @rablivingstone
2.
Source: @Jason_Spacey
3.
https://twitter.com/RuthePhoenix/status/797527688642760704
4.
Source: @robmanuel
5.
https://twitter.com/Jake_Vig/status/806151569850990593
6.
Father Christmas isn't very attractive in sunshine, but he's dashing through the snow.
— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) December 6, 2016
7.
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,
But the very next day,
My lack of formal surgical training became very apparent.— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) December 5, 2016
8.
*Nazareth 2000 years ago*
Mary: Did you lock the door?
Joseph: YES
Mary: Did you book the hotel?
Joseph: IT'LL BE FINE, GET ON THE DONKEY— Sir Andy Murray (@mrsbiltawulf) November 11, 2016
9.
I've circled all the good stuff in the Argos catalogue, so at least the kids will think they'll be having a decent Xmas.
— Paul (@bingowings14) November 6, 2016
10.
https://twitter.com/mutablejoe/status/806059442571714560
11.
Source: @Mr_Mike_Clarke
12.
My decision to leave the Christmas lights up all year has paid off once again.
— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) December 3, 2016
13.
Source: @TheCatWhisprer
14.
I am so skint I'm roasting a £5 note for Christmas this year.
— Jason (@NickMotown) December 3, 2016
15.
https://twitter.com/adamhess1/status/806826251646341120
16.
https://twitter.com/iamspacegirl/status/805458394933002240
18.
Source: @JamesFl
19.
Me: Christmas is Jesus' birthday.
4-year-old: What should I get him?
Me: You could be nice to your sisters.
4: I'll get him a hat.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 6, 2016
20.
Theresa May is right to say we should feel free to celebrate Xmas. If only every single shop and person ever would put up some decorations.
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) December 1, 2016
21.
Only 2 more UKIP leaders til Christmas.
— Trudi (@Trudski2012) November 28, 2016
22.
Once again the staff in Tesco are wearing Christmas jumpers, Santa hats and the looks of people who want every customer dead.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) December 6, 2016
23.
Source: @comedylopez
24.
https://twitter.com/TechnicallyRon/status/803956698675314688
25.
Why are people so shocked about how quickly Christmas is coming round? It's been on the cards for ages.
— Marty Lawrence (@TeaAndCopy) December 6, 2016
And, while this one from @tdawks doesn’t actually mention Christmas, it’s clearly a seasonal problem.
Source: @tdawks