Bloody hell BBC – how is this news?!
Hold the front page because the BBC have a story that’ll knock your socks off:
Yes, old ginger bollocks and his girlfriend have been witnessed holding hands.
Imagine that, two adults in a relationship, holding hands.
Stop the f***ing presses.
They’re not even particularly young adults. Their combined age is 69 years. (Nice.)
The piss-taking has been swift and brutal – here’s just 10 but really, we could have stuck about 200 tweets here and still kept going:
1.
Severed ones or it’s not news. https://t.co/kqCIKSZJh8
— Mr Roger Quimbly (@RogerQuimbly) September 25, 2017
2.
Goddamnit, I left my BBC news Twitter feed on six-year-old mode again https://t.co/x8eWDpvV9P
— Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) September 25, 2017
3.
Pfffft, that’s nothing, I touched a bum once, it was great https://t.co/HSe4XLukYx
— James Moran (@jamesmoran) September 25, 2017
4.
https://twitter.com/googlyeyecat/status/912568859017859072
5.
Don't wanna burst anyone's innocence bubble, but I reckon he's shagged her too!#NotNews https://t.co/BeFxODkTQi
— Si Trill, Esq.💙 (@SiTrill) September 25, 2017
6.
It'll be a national holiday when he gets the tit https://t.co/TY2NkcDe2V
— Regi (@Red_Regi) September 25, 2017
7.
https://twitter.com/SartoMutiny/status/912416087463088129
8.
Why the fuck do journalists spend 4 years in school? https://t.co/p3XNK6EEIv
— phantéau (@_wangwe) September 25, 2017
9.
https://twitter.com/razr_black/status/912393642744193025
10.
If middle school girls ran the BBC https://t.co/wgQNgqMuc3
— John Carroll (@TwitttrlessJohn) September 25, 2017
And in other news we’re on the edge of nuclear war and no one is doing anything about climate change. Oh well.
But there is some new Star Trek on.
Worth a watch actually, we’d say 7/10, and we’re keen to see what happens next. Stick that on your posters Netflix.
Source: Twitter/@BBCWorld