Women are “describing themselves like a male author would” and it’s both funny and revealing

We’ve all heard about the ‘male gaze’ and how it can infest male-written fiction with “heavy bosoms” and “slipping herself into tight clothes”, which is you know, a bit off putting if you’re a woman reading this and going “well, that’s just not how I think”.

And so Jonathan Franzia has thought up a game: “twitter challenge: describe yourself like a male author would”

new twitter challenge: describe yourself like a male author would

— Jonathan Franzia (@whitneyarner) April 1, 2018

Here’s 13 of the best entries.

1.

She was forty but could have passed for a year younger with soft lipstick and some gentle mascara. Her dress clung to the curves of her bosom which was cupped by her bra that was under it, but over the breasts that were naked inside her clothes. She had a personality and eyes. https://t.co/o9UJ5QcrQM

— Jane Casey (@JaneCaseyAuthor) April 1, 2018

2.

I had big honking teeters, just enormous bosoms, and I thought about them constantly as I walked down the street, using my legs (thick, with big shapely calves), but never not thinking about my enormo honkers, https://t.co/UaCQBchchL

— . (@swordsjew) April 1, 2018

3.
https://twitter.com/yesitshanna/status/980594892245102593

4.
https://twitter.com/ashleyn1cole/status/980809077688119296

5.

As she moved her strong cocoa body gleamed as if calling to the country of Africa. Her chocolate waist moved like an alluring siren calling me to crash on the rocks of her brown buttocks. https://t.co/eY08cAprM1

— Kelechi (@kelechnekoff) April 2, 2018

6.

“Her large breasts strained against the thin fabric of her t-shirt. The t-shirt had an obscure Star Wars reference on it, which I carefully explained to her, since she had presumably bought it because she liked the colors.” https://t.co/FeSk9J7R8E

— Kingfisher & Wombat (@UrsulaV) April 2, 2018

7.
https://twitter.com/junescribbles/status/980553020877541377

8.

Her body was an hourglass meant for taking his time, but her mohawk concerned him. She had a lesbian look, & too many tattoos, in languages he couldn't pronounce. Still, she'd written a stack of books. It was time for him to weigh in with his high school knowledge of Beowulf. https://t.co/26HNfX7n6Q

— Maria Dahvana Headley (@MARIADAHVANA) April 2, 2018

9.

"Men look past me because I'm not 'conventionally pretty'. I'm cute, but not hot. Sure a little foundation and cherry red lip gloss could take me from a 5 to a fuckable 8. But between pwning noobs and watching Naruto, I don't have time. Or care. I'm not like other girls." https://t.co/zQi8PmfU71

— Talia Mirai (@TaliaMirai) April 1, 2018

10.
https://twitter.com/_ElizabethMay/status/980759073737015296

11.
https://twitter.com/jenniferweiner/status/980839958943592450

12.
https://twitter.com/shannonpurser/status/981020460321333248

13.

She had an ass that just wouldn’t quit. Instead it would make increasingly poorly thought out excuses until you got the message and fired it. https://t.co/4N8zYtxT2W

— Lucy Prebble (@lucyprebblish) April 3, 2018