Met Police to have first ever carnival float

Notting Hill Carnival News: For the first time, London’s Metropolitan Police are to have their own float at this year’s Notting Hill carnival.

Dozens of the floats, to be known as ‘mobile obedience platforms’, will be seen at this year’s carnival, according to the Met’s spokesman for fun, F. Emory Pillowes.

“Each of the floats will have a sound system dropping the latest tunes, as well as a large number of sexy dancing police officers who will keep the peace and maintain civil obedience through their hypnotic, sensual dancing.”

It’s hoped that the police floats will help to lift the tense atmosphere expected at the carnival – and also reduce the amount of photographs of policemen awkwardly dancing with carnival-goers.

London Mayor Boris Johnson has backed the idea. “If this bold experiment works, I see no reason why it shouldn’t be rolled out across the country – every city, town and village could have its own flat bed lorry with half dressed police officers gyrating to the riddims of dancehall music.”