Jedward shave their heads

Celebrity News: Jedward, the high-pitched pop leprechauns, famous for looking like a couple of droplets of Don King’s semen, have shocked fans and superfans and superduperfans alike today by shaving off their ‘exclamation mark’ hair-dos while in the Big Brother house.

Protesting against Big Brother cutting off the hot water, as well as the prohibition of hair-dryers and straighteners, the feisty duo shaved off their trademarks this morning and then stormed into the diary room, wagging their fingers at one of the surveillance cameras in Britain’s best-loved insane asylum.

“Look what you made us go and do, Big Brother,” they chirped in mafia accents, before doing a little dance.

Hate mail has already started arriving at the offices of Channel Five, including a shoebox filled with human faeces that curls out the name ‘Richard Desmond’. YouTube is awash with heartbroken teenagers recording messages of rage and disbelief, while Twitter and Facebook are both buzzing with support for a riot in protest against celebrity torture.

“Well I think it’s fantastic,” said fellow Irishman Louie Walsh.

“For ages now, everyone at home has been wondering ‘what if Jedward cut off their heads – will four more grow back?’ By starting with their hair, they’re getting everyone in the mood while at the same time keeping them guessing. Genius!”