Billionaire lost track of exact fortune ‘some time ago’

Billionaire News: An American billionaire has admitted that he lost track of the exact size of his massive fortune years ago.

“I’m pretty sure I have so many gold bars they need to be stored in a vault built inside a mountain,” said global industrialist Trenton K. Zitzloff. “But whether this enormous vault packed full of gold is inside a gigantic mountain or just a massive one, I couldn’t tell you.”

Tragic Zitzloff made the shocking confession during a speech at a recent charity dinner event attended by other people who aren’t sure if they are amazingly wealthy or just obscenely rich.

“I’m not even sure what it is that I actually do.” Zitzloff told his fellow diners. “I remember years ago I owned a big factory. Then I bought another big factory. Then another.”

“Then I remember something about buying a zinc mine in Australia. The rest of my memories are pretty much a blur of champagne, fine dining and beautiful women adjusting my bow tie for me.”

Story: Simon Swatman