This bad sex award nominee went viral and it’s truly the best bad sex we’ve read

John Plunkett. Updated January 23rd, 2020

The Literary Review’s Bad Sex award has been going for some time now and was founded to draw attention to “the poorly written, redundant, or downright cringeworthy passages of sexual description in modern fiction”.

We only mention this because a nominee from 2014 has suddenly gone viral all over again and it really is the best bad sex we’ve ever read.

The worst thing about it might be that it didn’t actually win.

It went viral after it was shared by @EffiMai on Twitter and, well, have a read of this.

Author Jonathan Grimwood wasn’t happy about being nominated, however, and the good news about his extraordinary prose is it did give rise to the greatest headline ever.

And just a few of the things people were saying about it on Twitter.

What a terrible day to know how to read

— Pimenta Semente de Tamarindo (@MulherTamarindo) January 22, 2020

What’s always made me angry about this is not the vineyards or even ‘quim’, but the notion that it’s possible to ‘break off a fragment’ of Brie

— Daniel Nolan (@danjnolan) January 22, 2020

Very much this. I don’t think the author has ever had Brie. Or sex, for that matter.

— iamthelaw (@QuerywhoIam) January 22, 2020

Well, I can never enjoy brie, milk, chocolate, or tobacco ever again…

— .. (@thatchkcanwrite) January 22, 2020

wait is *this* the new Weight Watchers???

— Angela (@madcatdisease) January 22, 2020

Language didn’t spend all those years evolving so he could do this.

— Inka York will publish in 2020 (@InkaYork) January 21, 2020

Source Twitter @EffiMai Image Pixabay