Joe Heenan shared his trick for dealing with scam callers and started a trend – 16 of the best

Since the first lockdown in March 2020, there’s been a noticable increase in scam phone calls, either because the crooks have started doing overtime, or because people are more likely to be at home to take the calls. Maybe both.

Comedian, Joe Heenan, shared with Twitter his hilarious method for dealing with that type of call – and it provides the best mental image you’re likely to have today.

I love scam phone calls.
I pretend I'm an old Scottish woman desperate to pay them.
My record's an hour.
I pretended to go to the toilet 4 times during that one & spent half an hour reading out my card details incorrectly.
At one point I said my couch was on fire.
Great fun

— joe heenan (@joeheenan) April 3, 2021

His post inspired other people to describe their own methods – and these were our favourites.

1.

I once feigned a heart attack.

— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) April 3, 2021

2.

I tell them they need to speak to my Dad. He's in the bath but he's overweight and a suction seal is trapping him there. I'm looking for a wooden spoon to break the seal. Spoiler Alert: Mum doesn't have a bath and Dad is no longer with us. I think he'd find it funny, hopefully.

— Dean Williamson (@ButchTwizzles) April 3, 2021

3.

I fake cried massive sobs recently to a guy on the phone and went on to explain various personal (fake) problems I was having. He sounded so fucking awkward he hung up.

— Tashy McTashface (@TashP351) April 3, 2021

4.

I might try this one. When I was asked if I'd had an accident I said "Yes." and then when she asked me to explain my injuries I told her "I died. I'm dead. I'm a ghost." She thanked ghostly me and wished me a good day, which I thought was nice. https://t.co/tWKu5qTWVR

— Nicky Cunningham (@pacifistfighter) April 3, 2021

5.

I did this really successfully once with one of those "your Microsoft computer has a virus and you need to let me into it to fix it" scams. Kept him on the phone for an hour before he caught on; probably prevented him from calling 50+ people who might have fallen for it. 😁 https://t.co/NVxdSiarsR

— Carolyn 🇨🇦🧶 (@Peridragon) April 3, 2021

6.

I tell them I'm a burglar 'No I don't live here mate' or my own 14 year old son 'Dad? I think he's gone out. What? No I'm 14'

— James Smith (@pramkzone) April 3, 2021

7.

For the proper scam ones I sing ‘I’m and little teapot’ until they hang up. One guy who was trying to get access to my computer started shouting at me fir ‘wasting his time’.

— Steve Blair (@UniversalExile) April 3, 2021

8.

Last time I got the guy to repeat his schpeel four times in a row! He was then asking me for my bank name, so I spent a while trying to tell him the name of the bank manager. When I finally "realised" he wanted a bank name, I gave him a long list of UK bank names

— Benjamin Allen (@Gerwinstan) April 3, 2021