New rules, common sense and the Delta variant – 13 favourite pandemic jokes
England is on the verge of a thorough revamp of the coronavirus rules in response to the rapid rise in cases. it’s going to *checks notes* scrap the mask and social distancing requirements and leave everything up to people’s common sense.
That’s right – the country that called the emergency services over a KFC shortage is going to take the steering wheel of the Covid fightback wagon. Marvellous!
It probably won’t signal an end to pandemic jokes, but you never know – these might be the last of their kind.
1.
2019: "If young people didn't spend all their money on fancy coffees they would be able to afford a house"
2021: "If young people don't go back to offices and buy fancy coffees then the economy is going to implode"
Pretty sure fancy coffees shouldn't have such power tbh
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) July 7, 2021
2.
#DowningStreetBriefing pic.twitter.com/Nh9fl5HIFc
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) July 5, 2021
3.
Hello mum! Hello dad! pic.twitter.com/eM0U5S0gSW
— Boff Moatman (@BoffMoatman) July 7, 2021
4.
I wore a mask in hot yoga today to protect myself from COVID and, more importantly, my own body odor.
— Kilmartin- July 16/17 Alameda Comedy Club (@anylaurie16) July 13, 2021
5.
Apparently this new variant is airborne and moves quickly from partner to partner.#JohnsonVariant pic.twitter.com/7RAneEfj1u
— Chick Blaine 💙 (@ChickBlaine) July 10, 2021
6.
We're going to Get Covid Done!
It's easy – all you have to do is put your fingers in your ears, shut your eyes and go "La-la-la-la-la-la-la!"#CovidIsOver pic.twitter.com/3gjwCXXPGp— Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) July 7, 2021
7.
Have Gucci or Versace or anyone brought the mask dangling from headphones onto the catwalk yet cos it’s The Look isn’t it #2k21
— Josh Barrie (@joshbythesea) July 1, 2021
8.
Look, either get vaccinated before more strains appear or we all have to learn the Greek alphabet. Those are the options.
— Daniel Silvermint (@DSilvermint) July 3, 2021
9.
Reboot of JAWS except everyone has heard about the shark, and the beaches are still packed because half the tourists believe it’s a globalist hoax.
— Eric Nelson (@literaryeric) June 30, 2021
10.
What’s that? It’s your choice not to wear a face mask because you want freedom? Cool, cool. While you’re at it, why not open the aircraft door in the middle of a passenger flight because you cherish your independence.
— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) July 4, 2021
11.
If I could draw I would draw this and send it to the New Yorker: Two coronavirus molecules smoking a joint and one saying “what if, like, we’re the virus”
— Bea_ker (@bea_ker) July 7, 2021
12.
The airline, the variant, or the sorority? https://t.co/NYTP8brztX
— VP Kamala Harris (@beaucoupbougee2) July 7, 2021
13.
If only Right Said Fred had given us some indication early on that their arrogance makes them reluctant to wear garments that most people deem necessary. All this fuss could have been avoided.
— Dean Burnett (@garwboy) July 7, 2021
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