Sarkozy to replace shrugging with right wing salute

Fascism News: President Nicolas Sarkozy has promised to replace the French stereotype of shrugging with right-wing salutes in an desperate attempt to woo National Front voters.

Votes for National Front leader Marine Le Pen surged to 18 percent in the first round of voting, the biggest tally a far-right candidate has ever managed in France since Robert Kilroy-Silk ran for ‘The Supreme King Of Normandy’ in 2005.

Sarkozy has also announced plans to wear jackboots and grow a little moustache ahead of the three televised debates before the May 6 second round.

“Today, I return to the campaign trail,” Sarkozy said in a statement. “This time it is not only my head that I will hold high, but also my right arm.”

In a further bid to court National Front votes, Sarkozy has also promised that if he fails to get re-elected, he and Carla Bruni will commit suicide in his bunker deep underneath a strip club in the Pigalle.

Story: Simon Swatman