Murdoch leaves smouldering palm print on Bible

Murdoch News: Proceedings at the Leveson Inquiry were brought to a halt today, after the Bible Rupert Murdoch swore an oath on spectacularly burst into flames.

Onlookers were left in shock as Murdoch, 124, began to swear an oath promising to tell “the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth” – only for the Bible to briefly catch fire, leaving behind an eerie smouldering hand print.

Other reports suggesting that all the milk in the building simultaneously soured and every bird in the vicinity suddenly dropped dead, remain unconfirmed.

Murdoch later took to Twitter to explain the Incident. He tweeted: “Bible covered in leather. Must have reacted to the hand moisturiser I use. Nothing sinister about that. Certainly not in league with Satan.”

Lord Justice Leveson brought proceedings to a halt, until a priest could be summoned to bless the room and pour a protective ring of salt around Mr. Murdoch, in order to contain the evil within.

Story+Image: Simon Swatman