25 favourite funny tweets of the week
Outside may be cold and even a little unfriendly, but in here, it’s just full of delights. Tweeted delights, obviously. We hope you like these as much as we do.
Give your faves a follow.
1.
I bet it's another fucking vape shop. pic.twitter.com/phtW0jOrHc
— Stu. (@dysondoc) December 5, 2021
2.
I got hit in the head with a can of Coke.
Thank God it was a soft drink.— Stephen King (@StephenKing) December 5, 2021
3.
I'm cash poor but spare-napkins-in-my-glove-compartment rich
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) December 5, 2021
4.
— WholesomeMemes (@WholesomeMeme) December 5, 2021
5.
New automated email response: "I am, in fact, in the office today, but I'm absolutely not feeling it"
— Sam Whyte (@SamWhyte) December 9, 2021
6.
HERE COMES THE MOTHERFUCKING PERCUSSION SECTION pic.twitter.com/X1psXQEHTw
— Jon “Jon Baker” Baker (@JonBaker) December 5, 2021
7.
every single person who owns two cats has one beautiful idiot and one terrifying demon plotting a coup
— Serena Golden (@SerenaEGolden) December 5, 2021
8.
The right to bear arms? I want the right to Hulk hands.
— FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF (@sofarrsogud) December 7, 2021
9.
“All I want is one nice photo”
My kids: pic.twitter.com/yhGv9sNdZu— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) December 8, 2021
10.
Welcome to your forties. Here’s your weighted blanket and your autoimmune disease punchcard.
— ❄️ MoonstruckInNYC ❄️ (@moonstruckinnyc) December 7, 2021
11.
dentist: this will make you numb
me: ok
dentist [whispering]: 91% of the plastic you recycle goes to landfills
— scooter (@scootergonscoot) December 8, 2021
12.
I DO NOT recommend a talking scale.
My scale: I thought you were on a diet.
— Crac⚡ked (@a_simpl_man) December 7, 2021