Unwrapped! Gold reveals this year’s top 20 topical Christmas cracker gags
The good people of Gold have announced the winner of their annual competition to create the best topical Christmas cracker gags.
Covid, Boris Johnson, Piers Morgan, Matt Hancock and Squid Game were all among the topics featured in the 20 shortlisted jokes.
But it was rising fuel prices that was on the mind of winner Craig Rogers from Manchester who came top of the pile with this joke.
Q: Why are people cutting back on Brussels sprouts this Christmas?
A: The cost of gas is too high .
Gold challenged the British public to tweet their original festive gags which were then shortlisted by a panel of judges led by comedy critic Bruce Dessau.
The 20 shortlisted jokes were then put to an anonymous public vote of 2,000 British adults.
Here’s what Bruce had to say.
‘The British public’s fantastic sense of humour never ceases to amaze me!
‘With subjects spanning from Matt Hancock to Squid Game, Covid to Track and Trace, Jackie Weaver to Emma Raducanu’s smashing wins, there is something to get everyone giggling this year.’
And here are the 20 shortlisted jokes in full.
1. Why are people cutting back on Brussels sprouts this Christmas? The cost of gas is too high
2. Why is Christmas dinner vegan this year? Because Turkey is on the red list, but vegetables are all green
3. Why won’t Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Richard Branson see each other this Christmas? They all want space
4. What’s Piers Morgan’s favourite Christmas song? Walking off on air
5. Which relative will not be at Chris Whitty’s Christmas dinner? Aunty Vaxxer
6. Which vaccine did Father Christmas get? Mince Pfizer
7. Why did Rudolph’s nose have too self-isolate? It failed the lateral glow test
8. Why didn’t Santa replace Comet and Cupid when they left to become HGV drivers? It was just 2 deer
9. How do you know the heating bill for December is too high? Dad won’t even let you open the windows on your advent calendar.
10. Why can Netflix afford calamari at Christmas? They’re Squids in
11. Why does Christmas scrabble take so long with Boris Johnson? He’s keeps going back on his word
12. Why are we only having broccoli, cabbage and peas as veg this Christmas? Because 52% of the family said no to Brussels
13. Why did Matt Hancock have to buy his aide really expensive Christmas presents? She had him up against a wall
14. Why does Emma Raducanu get to carry the crystal glasses at Christmas dinner? They know she’s unlikely to drop a set
15. Which vaccine did the Three Wise Men have? The Wiser Jab
16. Which ‘Friends’ character nearly missed the 2021 Reunion Show due to the Test and Trace app? Chandler Ping
17. Why will Keir Starmer be sad on Christmas morning? He’ll still have no presence
18. Why does Jackie Weaver control the weather at Christmas? She has snow authority
19. What pantomime are the government doing this year? Chris Whittington
20. What is Coleen Rooney’s favourite Christmas game? Guess Who
Gerald Casey, Gold channel director, said: ‘It is heartening that every Christmas, the British public can reflect on this year in a humorous way.
‘We hope that, alongside Gold’s comedy Christmas programming, our modern Christmas cracker jokes add a little laughter for everyone at the end of the year.’
Winning joke author Craig Rogers received the top prize of £1,500 towards a holiday, a festive hamper and a box of bespoke Gold Christmas Crackers, one of which will contain his own winning gag.
The top six jokes were included within bespoke boxes of Gold’s Christmas crackers, which were presented to this year’s winners.
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