Our 25 favourite funny tweets of the week
Where can we send the Freedom of Information request to find out if the past seven days were secretly at least 10? It’s certainly felt like it, with everything that’s been going on in the news – which is why we’re ignoring that and concentrating on the funny stuff that people have been tweeting.
If you enjoy any of them, give them a retweet, maybe follow them. Share the love.
1.
Irish mammies trying to describe someone pic.twitter.com/VrbPl6quef
— SHANE REACTION (@imshanereaction) January 28, 2022
2.
Not to brag but I opened both boxes of meds the right way so if you need me I'll be buying 300 lottery tickets. pic.twitter.com/UjxTRQMdKk
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) January 30, 2022
3.
Rita, Sue and pic.twitter.com/tFZYLERPJI
— Jonny Sharples (@JonnyGabriel) January 29, 2022
4.
Talking to the Dr that’s doing my Hernia
Me: *sliding a £1 coin across the table* “any chance you could do some lipo whilst you’re there?”Dr: “that’s an entirely different procedure that I don’t do.”
Me: “Okay. I understand.” *slides second £1 coin across the table*
— Bethany Black twitch.tv/beffernieblack (@BeffernieBlack) January 30, 2022
5.
Facebook is like the mall: it was a cool place to hang out when we were teenagers but now it’s a decaying monument to the past; I return there sporadically to shop & see elderly people getting into fights
— Pigeon Fancier (@isabelzawtun) January 28, 2022
6.
There should be a ‘Skip Intro’ button for when your mam’s explaining how you should know the person she’s talking about
— Justine Stafford (@JustineStafford) January 28, 2022
7.
You can really tell a persons age by what racing driver’s name they use when accusing someone of driving fast.
— Rachel Fairburn (@RachelFairburn) January 28, 2022
8.
— David O'Doherty (@phlaimeaux) January 29, 2022
9.
John Carpenter’s The Thing
[R] 1982 ‧ Horror/Sci-fi ‧ 1h 49m pic.twitter.com/YD1TemrrrV— Justin Staggs Ⓥ (@Staggfilms) January 31, 2022
10.
i just saw some idiot at the gym put a water bottle in the pringles holder on the treadmill
— T 🎯 (@CodeineFridge) February 1, 2022
11.
Been telling my kids that telling the truth matters. Especially after one of them claimed their 14th birthday wasn't a party but a revision gathering.
— Nihal Arthanayake 🏳️🌈🇱🇰🏴🇬🇧 (@TherealNihal) February 1, 2022
12.
People like to talk shit about screen time today as if we were all engaged in some intellectual pursuit as children and not just hitting a tennis ball against a garage until Three’s Company came on
— Amber Sparks (@ambernoelle) February 1, 2022