Our 25 favourite funny tweets of the week
At the time of writing, people in many parts of the UK have been warned not to go outdoors due to Storm Eunice, unless it’s unavoidable. It’s the perfect opportunity to get the kettle on and read our 25 favourite tweets from the past week.
Give your faves a follow.
1.
I can't not read this headline in the voice of Ralph Wiggum. pic.twitter.com/ohyvBF0SAh
— Pete Paphides (@petepaphides) February 12, 2022
2.
I have two energy levels: the first minute of In the Hall of the Mountain King or the second minute of In the Hall of the Mountain King
— melissa cox (@mmdotcox) February 16, 2022
3.
I saw someone in Tesco buy eggs but they didn't open the box.
Just put it in the trolley & walked on.
Total psychopath— joe heenan (@joeheenan) February 17, 2022
4.
when ppl ask me what my favorite movies are: pic.twitter.com/dR9TS9hDI7
— Mickey (@mmiicckkkeeyyy) February 16, 2022
5.
Who did your guttering mate? pic.twitter.com/iPamVU32p8
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) February 16, 2022
6.
When ducks have done you wrong… pic.twitter.com/h3XUeiIdh3
— Nɪᴄᴋ Rʜᴏᴅᴇs (@nick_rhodes_nz) February 13, 2022
7.
£1350 to look like you've been trapped in a wheelie bin with an irate fox. pic.twitter.com/AFNjHo29mv
— Dan (@timothycrisps) February 12, 2022
8.
Delighted and humbled to receive this award today, quite overwhelming really when you consider how many other nominees there must be in this category. Congratulations to all the other finalists, thank you for inspiring me to work harder and best of luck next year. #humbled pic.twitter.com/Al2WuEF4p1
— Sir Chris Hoy (@chrishoy) February 14, 2022
9.
What's with those tiny handles on the side of maple syrup bottles. Too small for human hands. So what are they for? Something horrifying I expect. Much to think about anyway.
— Mike Townsend (@townsendyesmate) February 12, 2022
10.
With inflation at 7.5%, you lose half your money in 9 years. The only way to outperform that consistently, that I have found, is crypto. Just this year I’ve already lost half my money.
— rcm (@rcm____) February 13, 2022
11.
My fella is taking part in a social experiment… He is wearing a "I'm Backing Boris" T-shirt for 2 weeks to see how people react.
So far he’s been spat on, punched and had a bottle thrown at him.
I’m curious to see what happens when he goes outside.
— Marie-Ann Hates Tories and Brexit (@MarieAnnUK) February 13, 2022
12.
For the past 20 years I've received a Valentines card from the same secret admirer. So I was pretty upset when I didn't get one this year. First my granny dies and now this.
— Colm Flynn (@colmflynnire) February 14, 2022