25 favourite funny tweets
To make up for an unavoidable break in service, this week’s round-up of funny tweets has been selected from the past 14 days. It’s as good as ever, and we hope you’ll find a new funny account to follow.
1.
NUMBERWANG pic.twitter.com/bUKdq1sWDP
— Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) May 19, 2022
2.
tomorrow my wife and i are installing the underground dog fence. i have planned it out well. can't wait to go to petsmart and lowes 42 more times and be divorced by 3pm.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) May 20, 2022
3.
I hate when you wash clothes and your duvet cover at the same time and the clothes all end up inside the duvet cover and you take it out and feel like a big stupid giant who is running away from home in the rain.
Therapist: You know it's £90 for these sessions, right?
— Rhys James (@rhysjamesy) May 17, 2022
4.
A cooking competition where contestants make whatever they want but my husband wanders around the kitchen and stands in front of the drawer they need
— meghan (@deloisivete) May 18, 2022
5.
Caught Sideshow Bob out driving today. pic.twitter.com/oQ8clDaNLG
— David Bussell (@Busselling) May 14, 2022
6.
The writer Ernest Hemingway was once challenged to write the saddest story that could be told in only six words. He thought for a time, then simply wrote: pic.twitter.com/NJolTXBUzO
— Ivo Graham (@IvoGraham) May 16, 2022
7.
You gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em
know when to walk away, know when to run
-Kenny Rogers, laundry expert— (@blueeyesgreene) May 16, 2022
8.
Tell me you're stupid without telling me you're stupid.
I'll start: I'm stupid.— Stella (@Havish_AF) May 17, 2022
9.
Is that Lacazette’s brain? pic.twitter.com/4qZ1eGwe4N
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) May 16, 2022
10.
Worst them 2 day hangovers missed the train to work this morning so drove, finished work and forgot I’ve drove so ended up getting the train back and now my cars stuck in bolton. I want to die
— meehan (@mikemee05464502) May 16, 2022
11.
When your friend starts driving at 150 mph and says “I loved her bro…” pic.twitter.com/km3B4GsIMX
— Hasbulla 🐐 (@HasbullaHive) May 22, 2022
12.
Me when an over chatty taxi driver drops me off. https://t.co/nx8awpN8oc
— cluedont (@cluedont) May 16, 2022