23 funny and revealing tweets about life with children
Children may be the future, but for those taking care of them they’re very much the present – and they know it.
These 23 tweets show the little and often hilarious ways that children make their presence felt.
1.
"A fart is like a little portable weapon that no one can take away from you," and other things my 9yo says out of the blue.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 6, 2022
2.
They call them “toddlers” because “mini-megalomaniacs” is too hard to say on three hours of sleep
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) September 21, 2021
3.
Every day of school:
Me: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP
Kids:
Me: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP
Kids:6 AM, every day of summer break:
Kids [standing by my bed]: We're bored.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 8, 2022
4.
My twins have been coming home from school every day with big cardboard models and I’m taking this as an act of war so tomorrow I’m sending one twin with a whistle and one with a book that plays baby shark on repeat
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) September 29, 2021
5.
4-year-old: That chicken is weird
Me: What chicken?
4-year-old: That chicken
Me: That’s a whooping crane
4-year-old: So that’s why it’s weird for a chicken
— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab) June 7, 2022
6.
[Having a special moment with my toddler before bed]
Me: Goodnight, I love you.
Toddler: Thanks, you can leave now.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) May 29, 2022
7.
My 3-year old just called lighters "fire batteries" and I'm obsessed with the accuracy of that description.
— Atl Sports Guy (@AtlSportsGuy2) June 8, 2022
8.
My kid dropped his apple slices and I asked if he wanted me to help him pick up, he said "no thank you, you can do it by yourself"
— Not Another Pinterest Mom (@snarkymomtobe) August 29, 2021
9.
My 7-year-old told me that he loves me and hopes I never die, and the only thing that could have made this moment more special is if I wasn’t sitting on the toilet.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 6, 2022
10.
I just heard my daughter singing from the other room and I’m not gonna lie I teared up a little bit. It was awful
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) June 6, 2022
11.
My 4 year old just asked me If i could “connect her iPad to WiFi so she doesn’t whine”, and I feel like she already understands the art of setting expectations.
— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) September 10, 2021
12.
Once a toddler learns “Why?” It’s all over
— Bella (@immuaahz) June 6, 2022