25 favourite funny tweets of the week
It may feel like the End of Days, over on Twitter, but it’s not all doom and gloom. These 25 funny tweets show that there’s still a wealth of free humour out there – for now.
Give them a retweet and follow your favourites.
1.
Being an adult means saying the same three lies every weekend until you die.
1. I’m gonna give this place a proper tidy up
2. No sense in starting the diet until Monday
3. Things should start to calm down after next week— Kate Lister (@k8_lister) November 13, 2022
2.
Me, trying to say hello to a cockney: pic.twitter.com/OcZil1v2r2
— Alasdair Beckett-King (@MisterABK) November 13, 2022
3.
Very disappointed to have been fired from Twitter today. Especially since I’ve never worked there.
— Brent Spiner (@BrentSpiner) November 15, 2022
4.
No. pic.twitter.com/p4aZB9hTVo
— God (Not a Parody, Actually God) (@TheTweetOfGod) November 14, 2022
5.
“I have to ask you, Nancy, is this really the most productive use of your time?” pic.twitter.com/qRjLvuTpsH
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) November 14, 2022
6.
I will be dating Pete Davidson next.
— Dionne Warwick (@dionnewarwick) November 14, 2022
7.
Flat Earthers think when a ship’s mast gradually disappears below the horizon it’s a trick like when a dad goes behind a sofa and pretends to be walking down some stairs.
— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) November 14, 2022
8.
These records really don't want to be alphabetised… pic.twitter.com/eRTSVuNyrs
— Nathaniel Tapley (@Natt) November 17, 2022
9.
can’t a woman breastfeed their 6yo without a celestial monk creeping on them? pic.twitter.com/PVoAZBRyZ4
— an english human (@English_Channel) November 14, 2022
10.
Watched the new Lindsay Lohan – Falling For Christmas. Appalling. Nobody in the film wants to be in the film. Terribly directed, no idea how to tell a story. Shit story anyway. Baffling prop decisions. Acting subhuman.
Highly recommend. Haven’t laughed like that for years. 5/5
— Jonathan Dean (@JonathanDean_) November 13, 2022
11.
It’s really sad I’m sharing this, but it is so satisfying that @CostaCoffee letters can be coloured in for milk type (coconut, oat, soya, tit, almond) pic.twitter.com/XYaYmo3W6y
— Phillip (@thephillmonty) November 16, 2022
12.
Can we all settle on whether Joanna means "Johannesburg" or "piano"? I've just had a RIDICULOUS estimate from a removal firm.
— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) November 17, 2022