Space tourist worried about getting zero-gravity diarrhea

Holiday News: A British space tourist has expressed fears over getting zero-gravity diarrhea, due to ‘unrefined space food’ and ‘filthy space tap water’.

Property developer Charles Longley-Fellowes from Sandbanks, Portsmouth, is set to be the first British space tourist – though he has publicly expressed fears over getting the runs due to the basic nature of food in space and potentially unclean drinking water.

“I have heard troublesome rumours that the cuisine is somewhat less than Michelin quality,” said Longley-Fellowes. “I have a very delicate palate and always expect the best. How can I enjoy a well seasoned Niçoise salad if it’s served out of a silver foil bag in zero gravity?”

Longley-Fellowes has also expressed concerns about the plumbing in space. “I doubt the tap water is safe to drink and I just hope the Evian is properly chilled –  I can’t stand tepid mineral water.”

“And are we allowed to flush toilet paper, or will it block up the water closet? I once holidayed in the Greek islands and they had the same rule. It was absolutely awful.”

Story: Simon Swatman