Got questions about Transfer Deadline Day? This excellent guide has got it covered
For most football leagues, it’s Transfer Deadline Day, so if you’re chewing your nails as time runs out to get that midfielder you hope will save your season, or – worse still – it looks like your star striker might be poached by a bigger club, you’re probably in need of a distraction.
Here’s what tweeters have been saying about the transfer window’s imminent slam.
#TransferDeadlineDay pic.twitter.com/RIiYf81YIe
— Carl Anka (@Ankaman616) September 1, 2023
Ahh transfer deadline day. Like drunkenly raiding the hotel minibar to pay fifteen quid for a minuscule tub of cashew nuts.
— Jason (@NickMotown) September 1, 2023
"It's a good deal & we worked hard to get it done by the cut off. Oh, sorry love, force of habit, double sausage McMuffin, hash brown & a large tea please."#TransferDeadlineDay pic.twitter.com/TOWlFvf9LU
— Phlegm Clandango (@Cain_Unable) September 1, 2023
More than any other day in sport, Transfer Deadline Day is powered by rumour and speculation, but the very funny Sir Michael has offered his expert analysis of the situation.
Okay, given that there's just over 48 hours left in the transfer window and rumours about various transfers are running wild, I thought I'd jump on a do a quick Q&A on the latest speculation pic.twitter.com/mRH5vbvgO5
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) August 30, 2023
Move over, Sky Sports. We don’t need you anymore. Here are a few comments and exchanges we really enjoyed.
1.
No source as reliable as Michael. Top tier ITK. https://t.co/sKwdwvMBlS
— Em Walla (@SoCalKopite) August 30, 2023
2.
Have you written to the clubs in question confirming your unavailability for the roles they are looking to fill?
— Sid Golan (@GolanSid) August 30, 2023
Good thinking. I better do that immediately. It would be very inconvenient for me to be lining up at right-back for Arsenal on Sunday (I'm due to attend my grandmother's birthday party)
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) August 30, 2023
3.
Vitally important information here https://t.co/WUvBJqRdCQ
— Marc (@MarcJWallace) August 30, 2023
4.
Thanks. Number 1 still concerns me. Can you offer any tips to ensure I don't inadvertently get signed by Chelsea? I'm not good at football and worry I'd end up a laughing-stock on the pitch in front of thousands.
— Mark (@InactiveDigital) August 30, 2023
I'm worried you don't believe in yourself enough, Mark, so no, I'm not going to advise you on how to not become a first team playey at Chelsea. I think it'd be good for you to spend a season there as a regular starter. Good luck. I believe in you.
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) August 30, 2023
5.
Apparently Liverpool will be recruiting a new Sporting Director soon, with this level of knowledge of the transfer market you should be a shoe-in for it!
— Coach Potatoes (@Coachpotatoes) August 30, 2023
I think I'd like that role. My first order of business? Order myself a lovely office chair. My second order of business? Order myself a lovely mattress so I can take naps in the office. Then, if there's time, I'll think about signing some football players.
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) August 30, 2023
6.
What I like about this is that you haven't shied away from giving answers.
— Someone (@individual35837) August 31, 2023
Thank you. It would have been easy to say nothing at all but I felt that would have been cowardly.
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) August 31, 2023
7.
Do any of the transfers involve Wheelbarrows in lieu of their cash equivalent?
— Jonathan (@JayThomasWAFC) August 30, 2023
This is the only way sense can be restored to the transfer market, imo:
"How much did Moisés Caicedo cost?" "£115m"
"I don't understand."
"Okay, he cost 4.21 million wheelbarrows."
"Ah, now I get you."— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) August 30, 2023
8.
If Liverpool loses Mo Salah I might have to blame you for not hazarding a guess when you had the chance.
— Avery Heart (@averyheartgirl) August 30, 2023
Isn't there a law against me being held responsible for the disastrous consequences of my webpostings? If not, there definitely should be, imo.
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) August 30, 2023
9.
I think the one question you've overlooked is why is it called a window surely transfer door would be a more suitable name, transfer step, even transfer market place? For me this needs sorting out before worrying if Chelsea buy another fielder or pitcher
— Make the UK a tory free zone (@Pos1tive3nergy) August 30, 2023
Good point. I'll email all the Premier League clubs and ask for an explanation. Will DM you when they respond.
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) August 30, 2023
Cathal Kennedy suggested a potential new career for Sir Michael.
You've missed a calling Sir M… sounds like you'd be a great Sports Editor for The S*n (don't buy it), Mail or Express publications…
— Cathal Kennedy (@CathalKennedy1) August 30, 2023
This was his response.
I would almost certainly accept offers from any of the three (if I had no dignity, self-respect or conscience)
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) August 30, 2023
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It’s transfer deadline day so any excuse to remember this brilliant TV moment
Source Sir Michael Image Sir Michael, Screengrab