Mike Parry’s rant about Christmas markets (and mittens) on the Jeremy Vine Show bordered on satire
‘Tis the season to be jolly and all that. Decking the halls, gay apparel – the full works.
However, it’s also the season to be performatively angry that Christmas isn’t exactly the same as it’s always been – at least for former Sun journalist Mike Parry, who called Jeremy Vine‘s BBC Radio Two show to defend German-style markets to author A.J. West, who hates them.
Have a listen. It’s going to become a classic.
i am LOSING IT at today’s @theJeremyVine debate about german style christmas markets – our greatest living broadcaster resigns supreme. pic.twitter.com/R1h5feYuX7
— milo edwards (@Milo_Edwards) December 18, 2023
“You’re knocking what I think is a great British institution.”
“What – German markets?”
“What about the little kids who are taken out by their parents with their mittens on and with their woolly hat on to get on that fairground ride?”
The combination of righteous indignation and subject matter tickled listeners. And don’t even get us started on the mittens.
1.
With their MITTENS on!
— Michael Fry (@BigDirtyFry) December 18, 2023
2.
it's the rolled r in christmas that's done it for me https://t.co/lDDOLAHGDI
— Emma Szewczak (@EmmaSzewczak) December 18, 2023
3.
Thoughts with the mitten-wearing children of Lincoln during these tough times https://t.co/YhnhYOyNtr
— Rob Hudson (@rbthudson) December 18, 2023
4.
Man’s losing it over Christmas markets in a way I have to respect https://t.co/m5rEGfQVvR
— £85 grinch (@RyanPlugs) December 18, 2023
5.
This caller's angry-about-something-highly-unimportant tone is exactly the voice most people Britain seem to have in their own head at all times https://t.co/GMudWE5nfR
— CAL ROSCOW (@calroscow) December 18, 2023
6.
I can only describe this as seething with joy https://t.co/Lf0AwFvtk8
— Eimearry Christmas to all (@_Cailin_Corcra_) December 18, 2023
7.
total respect for bludgeoning his way past Vine onto the airwaves. man after my own heart
— let’s try calling me ‘november’ (@AliceAvizandum) December 18, 2023
he needs to talk about mittens and let no man stand in his way
— milo edwards (@Milo_Edwards) December 18, 2023
8.
That man is willing to ride or die for a shitty hut with overpriced mulled wine
— Seb Downie-Blackwell (@DownieSeb) December 18, 2023
9.
need the guy phoning in to get his own segment i've never heard someone so incensed about something so trivial
— Pyronoid! (@PyronoidD) December 18, 2023
10.
It's amazing, the ramp up in the mans yelling is so subtle that you don't really notice he's shouting until he hits mittens. It's like a shepherds tone of war on christmas
— HulloThere (@jethroreading32) December 18, 2023
11.
I'm not sure anyone has ever been so mad while describing the magic of the Christmas spirit before
— Jack Burton (@GordonTurkey) December 18, 2023
Inevitably, there were comparisons with the Exploding Heads‘ comedy character Colin from Portsmouth.
I was saying 'love to the family' @Exploding_Heads whilst I was listening in the car to Mike Parrys staunch defence of Xmas markets this afternoon he sounded so much like Colin from Portsmouth.
— Ed Foster (@edfoster25) December 18, 2023
Erm…. Colin, you been moonlighting? @Exploding_Heads
Love to the family anyway mate.— Dario De Felice (@MonkeyMagicBoy) December 18, 2023
We somehow doubt that the mittens discourse persuaded A.J. West.
Tbh I didn't wake up this morning expecting to argue about Christmas Markets on Radio 2 but such is life. https://t.co/XGYruuTVst
— A.J.West (@AJWestAuthor) December 18, 2023
READ MORE
Watch this self-styled ‘sausage expert’ get egg on his face over a vegan sausage butty
Source Milo Edwards Image Screengrab, Shen Xin on Pixabay