The Apprentice is back – and Joe Heenan’s candidate bios are the only ones we’re going to need

BBC’s smash hit business-themed show The Apprentice is back on our screens this week and the publicity machine has been well and truly fired up.

Set a reminder now! Watch brand-new #TheApprentice on #BBCOne and #iPlayer from 1 Feb at 9pm pic.twitter.com/7ThOwMUI4J

— The Apprentice (@bbcapprentice) January 29, 2024

Lord Alan Sugar has even announced the first task for the hopeful contestants, one of whom will get to work under the watchful eye of the computer entrepreneur.

On this week's #TheApprentice, the teams have to organise and run a corporate awayday in Scotland, including a tour. Let's hope they know more about Scotland than previous candidates knew about Wales #TheApprentice – Thursdays 9pm @BBCOne and @BBCiPlayer pic.twitter.com/gRyHCYv0Ic

— Lord Sugar (@Lord_Sugar) January 29, 2024

Twitter/X has been gearing up for the first show.

Candidate statement: Don't let the expensive suit fool you – I was born to kill. Luckily for you, the only killings I make are in sales-led performance. No-one has sold more hemp-based artisanal candles than me. No-one! I am the one true asset Lord Sugar needs.
The candidate: https://t.co/4SJ0ISWEja pic.twitter.com/N54DsBhAfA

— Captain Howdy (@MajorPazuzu) January 23, 2024

Can’t believe I’m saying this but this year for the first time in about a decade there is no candidate with a “sweets business” in The Apprentice cast pic.twitter.com/IZbrj6ODvA

— Harrison Brocklehurst (@harrisonjbrock) January 23, 2024

Dabbers at the ready… #TheApprentice https://t.co/rX9lvz9znK pic.twitter.com/0eIsvSvgWs

— Alfie Garston (@alfiegarston) January 23, 2024

The Apprentice bullshitters are BACK pic.twitter.com/VHTQsVUvLP

— MrPaulRobinson (@MrPaulRobinson) January 23, 2024

But if you want the real inside scoop on who’s who in the new series, look no further than this hilarious thread from the wonderful Joe Heenan.

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My favourite candidates in the new series of The Apprentice #theapprentice pic.twitter.com/YaaZoEsoTI

— joe heenan (@joeheenan) January 29, 2024

And here they are.

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7.

The comedy edits got the thumbs up.

Excellent work here https://t.co/L3X0Dq7PHX

— Tom Hogg (@EdinJag) January 29, 2024

Thanks to Joe, a winner has already pulled ahead of the pack.

Team Maura! Speaks a lot of sense

— BlimeyGuvnor (@blimeyguvn0r) January 29, 2024

Maura gets *my* vote. Bloody love T R O N

— OrLoK (@OrLoK3D) January 29, 2024

Bruce was unfairly overlooked she is right!

— Russ (@rlhoutside) January 29, 2024

If she wins, she should pay him commission.

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