‘What’s a quite mild but very British punishment you could wish on an enemy?’ – 21 satisfying irritants
It’s natural to find some people or the things they do extremely irritating, and it’s just as natural to wish some kind of consequence on them for it. But we’re all reasonable people, right? The consequence doesn’t need to be devastating – just bad enough to ruin their day a little.
With that in mind, VeryBritishProblems invited people to share the irritations they’d wish upon these characters.
What’s a quite mild but very British punishment you could wish on an enemy?
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) May 14, 2024
So many people responded, we couldn’t possibly share them all, so you should definitely check out the responses and quotes. Read these ones first, though.
1.
Sitting next to a chatty person on public transport who always has to tap you every time they say something
— Paddy McGough (@paddymcgough) May 14, 2024
2.
Mid-level tutting whenever they enter a room. https://t.co/GILNQD4yEY
— Tim Price (@TimPrice1969) May 14, 2024
3.
May someone always eat egg sandwiches and microwave fish in every place you work https://t.co/H4TxE47R3N
— Miss Molly (@missy_molly_mol) May 14, 2024
4.
Hoping they hold the door open for someone and they don’t say Thankyou https://t.co/afbaSP921y
— Master Chen #FlatEarther (@realordinarylad) May 14, 2024
5.
Make them take a rail replacement bus https://t.co/Azxu56RbUU
— Robert Doane-Solomon (@robert__ds) May 14, 2024
6.
You're out of tea and the shop is closed. https://t.co/R0ox1ffFic
— Unbothered, Moisturized, In my lane, Happy Xeeter (@AreaMan20410331) May 14, 2024
7.
A toilet with a weak flush in a house they are visiting.
— Paul Ilett (@Paul_Ilett) May 14, 2024
8.
May your Rich Tea biscuits lack rigidity and break at the first dunking.
— Abir Mukherjee (@radiomukhers) May 14, 2024
9.
I hope their hot tap is always too hot
— martha. (@SainteMarthe) May 14, 2024
10.
Get stuck talking to that one neighbour who won’t stop talking on their way home.
— Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) May 14, 2024
11.
May their Monzo card decline even though they have money in it https://t.co/y2ZIVxpKCc
— Captain Ginyu (@Tiniwana) May 14, 2024