This warning of the feral youth threat on Waitrose may have achieved peak Telegraph – 23 luxury organic takedowns
We regret to inform you that the Telegraph has been at it again, with an outrageously on-brand attack against young people, courtesy of columnist Zoe Strimpel.
Her piece begins, unironically,
“I spend a good deal of time in my local Waitrose because I find it relaxing, even when I don’t buy very much.”
She continues,
“Did I know I wanted a new mixture of crab and scallop in a large shell ready to eat; a watercress-infused tzatziki, a large glass tumbler with a bee motif? No: but, now I know it exists, it turns out that maybe I do!”
Wait until she tries the middle aisle at Aldi and comes out with a snorkelling set, a wheelchair and a miniature potter’s wheel. She won’t know she’s born.
Of course, the pisstaking was off the scale.
1.
John Carpenter’s Escape From The Waitrose pic.twitter.com/q7i6VmyYqc
— Toby Earle Threads tobyontv (@TobyonTV) June 22, 2024
2.
Lock up your mange tout. pic.twitter.com/v6oPBMdT3y
— JOHN NICOLSON (@MrJohnNicolson) June 23, 2024
3.
Children of the Quorn. pic.twitter.com/BYo60su0Pz
— Psinha (@paulybengali) June 23, 2024
4.
They can take our cous-cous but they’ll never take our organic sour dough pic.twitter.com/npwvyaoEZz
— Janey Godley (@JaneyGodley) June 23, 2024
5.
The Telegraph wishes you a blessed evening. pic.twitter.com/q8M74kBjQK
— Edwin Hayward (@edwinhayward) June 22, 2024
6.
Well said The Daily Telegraph!
Britain is close to ANARCHY.
Bunty & I have shopped at Waitrose for years but the rise of Keir Starmer has led to worrying trends:
-Meal Deals
-Customers with tattoos
-Shortages of fennel & Potato Dauphinoise.
Vote Labour & this is your FUTURE!
pic.twitter.com/ygwla5yq6W— Sir Michael Take CBE (@MichaelTakeMP) June 23, 2024
7.
I refuse to believe Zoe Strimpel is real pic.twitter.com/nEa0VYw6od
— Bang Average 3rd Cat (@BangAverageCat3) June 22, 2024
8.
Zoe’s made the classic mistake of not waiting until Labour are in power before writing about the collapse of society… pic.twitter.com/qdISQ8mbYf
— David Andress (@ProfDaveAndress) June 22, 2024
9.
Evening. pic.twitter.com/4nNtF961yk
— Roland Smith (@rolandmcs) June 22, 2024
10.
First they came for the beetroot and feta salad… pic.twitter.com/aw5zaW4kxi
— Jason Reid (@JasonReidUK) June 23, 2024
11.
The closest my local Waitrose came to a disturbance was when they got rid of the deli counter and replaced it with a sushi counter… And it was definitely the local residents; doctors, solicitors, uni lecturers etc, not 'feral youths'… pic.twitter.com/lnZ9tSBXpE
— anna twigg rejoin EU… (@annatwigg) June 23, 2024
12.
You tell 'em @realzoestrimpel. Look at these feral miscreants I saw nicking the Lambrini from B&M earlier! https://t.co/7FBDhsJMl6 pic.twitter.com/ZVYbWdUasc
— Vince Evans. KS4PM (@Vince_Evans1) June 22, 2024