25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
We don’t know where the time goes. It doesn’t seem like more than a couple of days since we were last publishing our very popular weekly round-up of jokes from what used to be Twitter, but is now known as …Twitter.
We know it’s X, but who calls it that apart from the Army of Elon and BBC newsreaders?
Anyway, here’s what caught our eye and made us laugh over the past seven days.
1.
Hotel designers: “Where shall we put the bedside light switches?”
Everybody else in the world: “How about by the bed?”
Hotel designers: “Nah, how about… we hide them!”
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) August 31, 2024
2.
— David Leavitt ♂️ (@David_Leavitt) September 1, 2024
3.
Are you telling me a cis teen painted this chapel
— She-Rage, Princess of Pain (@ClaireMax) September 2, 2024
4.
and we'll do it again pic.twitter.com/cz3oPRWu6s
— Elaine Scattermoon (@scattermoon) September 2, 2024
5.
The 'Three Little Pigs' story harks back to a time when wolves roamed Britain and pigs drove innovation in the residential construction sector.
— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) September 2, 2024
6.
Me arriving in Mongolia:
Customs: Name?
Me: Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin
Customs: Occupation?
Me: No, just a day visit.— Darth Putin (@DarthPutinKGB) September 2, 2024
7.
My mate reckons he's going to a Rudyard Kipling poetry themed fancy dress party.
As If!
— Paul Eggleston (@pauleggleston) September 2, 2024
8.
There are people who think the sell by date means the item is still good after that date, and there are people who think it means you have to throw it away that day, and they marry each other and fight about it constantly.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) September 1, 2024
9.
leonardo dicaprio just switched to bing https://t.co/f6wzP0lkBI
— Hurt CoPain (@SaeedDiCaprio) September 4, 2024
10.
i love it when i stump the IT guy. aha you thought this would be a quick ticket. just remote in, click one button, and make me look like a fool. but alas, i have fucked things up more than you could’ve imagined
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) September 5, 2024
11.
Probably a better way to combine the words “portable” and “monitor” pic.twitter.com/9F6My585Qi
— Sarah York (@thesarahyork) September 3, 2024
12.
Any plans for the weekend? pic.twitter.com/AjPE93EyqC
— Nick Walker (@nickw84) September 4, 2024