Islamists retaliate with controversial film about Downton Abbey

Outrage News: “We know it’s what you British care about most,” says the narrator during the chilling opening sequence of ‘revenge flim’ The Guilt of Julian Fellowes.

The hour-long film was posted on YouTube yesterday by extremist filmmakers as ‘retaliation’ for The Innocence of Muslims which has sparked protest across the Middle East.

“You do not know God!” says the narrator as an angry mob tears up images of Maggie Smith, “You are care only about Mrs. Hughes’s results and if O’Brian is moving in and whether the finances of Downton beyond saving!”

“Now we will show you!”

And so begins a dystopian vision of Downton Abbey under Sharia law.

Though poorly-acted and badly made, there is a widely-held belief that the Pakistan government is behind the film. After yesterday evening’s episode of the period drama, crowds of angry protestors were reported in Edinburgh, Tunbridge Wells, Bakewell and Leamington Spa and unrest seems to be spreading across the country.

As the usually sedate residents of quiet market towns began throwing bricks through the window’s of Muslim-owned convenience stores, David Cameron appealed for calm.

“We understand that a similar film was made for American audiences, which apparently shows Bart Simpson beheading Lisa. I urge the public not to rise to such willful provocation and instead ask ourselves what the Dowager Countess of Grantham would say in a situation like this. No doubt something rather helpful about foreigners.”

Story: Jasper Gibson