People have been sharing the most eye-opening names they’ve seen given to kids – 25 to have you running straight to the deed poll office

Names are a subjective business, and we’ve all been introduced to a friend or colleague’s baby and inwardly winced that the poor kid has to go through the rest of their life with a dodgy moniker. However, some people land their child with one that is so awful they’ll be down the deed poll office to change it the second they hit 18. AskReddit user smallerthanahobbit posed the question:

What’s a name so ugly you can’t believe someone would want to give their kid?

And the answers will have you thanking your lucky stars your parents played it safe and called you something boring.

1.

‘Epiphany, but spelled Aphiffany.’
–gir6

2.

‘Arrogance. She was so proud to name her baby girl after a negative personality trait.’
–enigmaunbound

3.

‘I have students named Hennessy and Furious.’
–LunarVallyinmymind

4.

‘Pubert.’
–Myothercarisawalrus

5.

‘I actually once work with a girl named MORONica.’
–JonCocktoasten1

6.

‘Spurgeon. Yes, there are people whose parents have saddled their kid with a name that sounds like violent vomiting action.’
–TrianaSole

7.

‘I knew a girl in college who was named Smatha. She was supposed to be Samantha, but the nurse filling out the birth certificate info didn’t know how to spell it. Her parents never bothered to correct it.’
–lysistrata3000

8.

‘As a pediatrician, the horrors I’ve seen. I obviously can’t share names of kids I have personally cared for. But I can give some ones I heard about during training.

‘His Majesty King’ first name. ‘Abcde’ pronounced ‘Abseedee’. There’s always the backwards names ‘Neveah’ or ‘Semaj’. Lots of kids named after characters. The saddest was all the Khaleesi and Daenerys pre-GoT season finale. Wait till the show ends before committing to a name.’
–BrobaFett

9.

‘As a teacher, all of these gods damned farmhouse names. Haighleigh, Aeshleynne, Cadelynne, Braiyleighee, Shaenyableighe, etc. Poor things were doomed from the start.’
–NumberMuncher

10.

‘Peniston. I’m sure it’s a family name and probably pronounced ‘Pennistun’ or something, but… Come on, why the fuck would anyone name their child penis-ton?’
–acover4422

11.

‘My father-in-law said the Hogg family in his community had twin daughters. They named one Ima and the other Ura.’
–SrSkeptic1

12.

‘I once had a client named Pig. When I saw it on paper I thought maybe it was a cultural thing, like a name that had a different meaning in another country or something.

‘Nope, his mother thought he looked like a cute little piglet when he was born. Poor guy told me that when he introduced himself. PSA to expecting parents, don’t give your child a name they will feel the need to explain every time they meet someone.’
–pellakins33

13.

‘I knew someone whose nephew is named Zacfron, after Zac Efron.’
–Inner-Grapefruit-368