‘What are the new millennial mid-life crisis trends since none of us can afford a sports car?’ – 23 signs you’re getting on a bit

None of us want to feel old, but even millennials are finding that age is creeping up on them, with people born in the early-to-mid 80s certainly cresting the hill, even if they aren’t yet over it.

Over on r/AskUK, user windmillguy123 posed the following rather fascinating question…

‘A doctor told me this morning that men are currently expected to live until 78/79 which means 39 is technically middle aged. So with that in mid, what are the new millennial mid-life crisis trends since none of us can afford a sports car?’

And they received plenty of answers, some of which will be frighteningly recognisable for people of a certain age.

1.

‘A £5,000 carbon fibre road bike and Lycra.’
–bennett346

2.

‘A dehumidifier to help stop the mould in your rented flat.’
–pipe-to-pipebushman

3.

‘My partner, who is approaching 39, has been switching from wanting to do some kind of ultra marathon/iron man event, to packing up and moving abroad, to buying a woodland and living in it. I’m just going to be supportive and encouraging during this trying time.’
–SeaworthinessOdd9380

4.

‘I was 32 when this happened so not really middle-aged but I knew my best friend and I were Getting Up There when she concluded my tour of her new flat with an extremely proud and excited “And this is my new steam mop. You can remove the head and put it in the washing machine!” and I felt genuinely excited about that.’
–changhyun

5.

‘Sketchers hands-free slip-on trainers.’
–Ecstatic_Stable1239

6.

’42 here and I just started buying samplers and synthesizers. There’s still time to become a famous musician…. right?’
–halfwoodenjacket

7.

‘Get yourself a good spot watching the bird feeder.’
–DorothyGherkins

8.

‘At 39, my husband and I had our firstborn. I think having a baby is the new midlife crisis.’
–Outrageous-Garlic-27

9.

‘Running a marathon despite having not run since year 8 PE.’
–Hannahoverthere

10.

‘Mine is very good booze. I have quite a lot of £30 bottles of wine and a couple of £120-150 bottles of Cognac. It’s mad expensive relative to cheap booze, but far cheaper than a sports car.’
–Teembeau

11.

‘I don’t think anyone’s mentioned jiujitsu yet.’
–Metal-Lifer