‘What is the dumbest way you’ve ever hurt yourself?’ – 24 ridiculous acts of self-imposed pain

Do you feel like you’re a bit clumsy? Berate yourself for being ungainly and bungling? Manage to injure yourself in the silliest of circumstances? You’re not alone. Reddit user Perpetuallycold_ posed this simple question on AskReddit:

‘What is the dumbest way you’ve ever hurt yourself?’

And got plenty of replies from people who have also managed to harm themselves in the most foolish of ways.

1.

‘When I was maybe five or six I had recurring dreams that if I ran downhill, against the wind fast enough, and jumped, I could fly. They were extremely realistic. It was also very frequent, to the point where I began to doubt their status as dreams. One day, I noticed the wind was blowing up the hill we live atop. I decided to try it.

I sprinted full speed down this hill and leapt hard as I could, and promptly smashed my face against the sidewalk.’
–glamdollx

2.

‘Tripped over an imaginary blade of grass and fell, fractured my left arm and my collarbone, and tore the cartilage in the shoulder joint.’
–burpchelischili

3.

‘Opened the bathroom door too fast and smashed it on my face. Broke my glasses in half.’
–Prezzemolo-In3Kenshi

4.

‘I span round in my office chair, sneezed and threw my back out.’
–nobustomystop

5.

‘I waited behind my sisters bedroom door to scare her. She closed the door, still didn’t see me. So I creeped up behind her and did something like ‘boogity, boogity, boogity”, she swung around basically punched me like Bill Murray punched Ned in Ground Hog Day. Black eye and everything. I don’t try and scare her anymore.’
–uPsyDeDown13

6.

‘Tried to impress my young daughters by doing a backflip on the trampoline….. folded myself accordion style, sprained my back and could barely walk or move for about a week…. Act your age gentlemen.’
–leafs1985

7.

‘When I was 22, I managed to dislocate my shoulder while having sex. That’s one way to kill the mood.’
–SisuDrew

8.

‘I was standing on a ladder cleaning the gutters right in front of the kitchen window, and I was talking to my wife through the open window about whatever. The house phone rang, and I said, ‘I’ll get it’ and walked off the ladder mid-air and went straight down one floor into a window well where I broke my ankle.’
–mpls_big_daddy

9.

‘I once tried to impress my friends by jumping over a low fence. My foot got caught, and I went flying face-first into the ground. Ended up with a sprained wrist and a bruised ego!’
–3osban

10.

‘I tried to make a zipline out of a industrial power cord and wire coat hanger from the second floor of a barn. I knocked myself out and my brother thought I died.’
–ToyrewaDokoDeska

11.

‘Trying to open a huge clam on a riverbed. Came unsettlingly close to severing three fingers off, luckily just a few broken fingers and stitches to close them up.’
–Whatever3lla

12.

‘I caught my son at the top of the stairs once, he was about to try and fly down them using his jacket as a paraglider. Dread to think how that would have ended up.’
–sweet_petite123