Revealed: Richard III’s Sex Face

Royal News: Scientists have used computer modelling to reveal what Richard III’s face would look like if he was bearing down on you in the throes of passion.

The team of scientists from Dundee University used a mixture of CT scans and photographs of the bones of the last king of the House of York to build a highly realistic computer model of Richard’s sex face.

“Richard may have died in 1485, but using modern technology we can accurately depict the point of view of a serving girl staring into his soulless eyes as he mounts her like a rutting stag,” said Dr. Fari Sekson.

The computer modelling was used to construct a replica of Richard’s head, which the team at Dundee asked their partners to wear during lovemaking so they could ‘feel part of history’.

“The results are astonishing,” said Dr Sekson. “His ‘o’ face is so realistic you can see beads of sweat running down his flushed pink skin as you ride the royal bone rollercoaster.”