Cameron Promises Angry Voter ‘He’ll Look Into It’ For Fortieth Time This Week

PM News: The Prime Minister today promised a voter who was angry with the government that he would ask ‘policy makers to look into it’ – the fortieth time he’s said that phrase this week.

Cameron first used the phrase to palm off disgruntled members of the public in his Oxfordshire constituency after his election in 2000 – it is now thought to be his default sentence.

Friends and colleagues of Cameron have become concerned at the PM’s shrinking vocabulary, which is now said to be interfering in his home life.

“The other day during a kitchen supper I asked David if he’d like some peas,” said Samantha Cameron. “He just stared blankly at the peas, then me, and said that he would get policy makers to investigate the peas as a matter of the highest urgency.”

“I know he’s having a stressful time at the moment, but it’s all he says these days. It’s really put a sinister edge on our sex life.”