Hundreds Queue Up To Have Sex With New Artisanal Burger

Foodie News: Hundreds of foodies have queued outside a new ‘posh burger’ restaurant in order to have full penetrative sex with the food.

“People say there are too many fancy burger places these days and that the whole scene has become ridiculously fetishised,” said burger blogger Dan Malto.

“But clearly they’ve never slid their erect penis into a soft bun filled with dry cure bacon, mature Cheddar, lettuce, tomato, red onion and special sauce.”

The opening of the new artisanal burger restaurant was not without problems – around two hours after opening people in the queue were told by staff that they might sell out, which caused dozens of men with erections to angrily start writing bad Yelp reviews.

“It was chaos,” said another blogger. “All I wanted to do was stick my dick in one of these burgers and brag about it on Instagram and Pinterest – when they said they might run out it just sounded so…. exclusive. That just made me even harder.”