Blair Urges Western Leaders To Focus On Hating Him

World News: The former Prime Minister today urged Western leaders to put aside their differences and find unity in their singular hatred of Tony Blair.

“You may have differences with Russia over Ukraine,” said Blair at a recent speech in London.

“But you must surely all agree that I’m a massive twat, and I played a major part in fucking up the Middle East. Therefore in the spirit of cooperation I ask you to come together with the common bond of wanting to punch my face in.”

Blair then handed out special dartboards with a photo of him on them and promised to make ‘the road to unilateral hatred of Blair’ even easier for Western leaders – by making constant public appearances where he can trot out his usual line of oily bullshit.

“Nobody can bring countries together better than Tony Blair,” said one political commentator. “After all, if we can’t find common ground in hating a perma-tanned, lying, corporate consultant then we will never have anything in common.”