Standing Up Not Enough To Satisfy Twats Who Insist You Dance

Social News: Merely standing at the edge of the dancefloor is no longer enough to appease the twats who insist you dance, a new study has found.

Millions of people who thought they could avoid dancing simply by standing up have had their dreams crushed by a new study by the University of Warwick’s Social Science department.

“For years when people semi-aggressively insist you dance we’ve thought that simply standing up and looking like you’re almost participating is enough to satisfy these twats, so that they leave you alone and move on to bothering other non-dancers,” said a spokesman for the team behind the study.

“Our research, conducted across thousands of dancefloors in the U.K and Europe, shows that this simply isn’t the case. They will never be happy with you standing up, slowly moving your arms to the music. They demand the full dance.”

The team did find some solutions for those not wanting to dance in public.

“Just stay at home and never go anywhere with music. It’s the only way to be sure.”