London Underground Flooding Caused By Commuter Sweat

Transport News: Tube lines have been suspended after the cumulative sweat of millions of Londoners built up over the summer has resulted in ‘salty flash flooding’ on the network.

Average temperatures on the Tube have soared over 30c during recent months, and now Transport For London say that this accumulated perspiration from millions of commuters has pooled together to form a ‘sweat tsunami’ that has caused serious problems on the underground network.

“We’ve seen nearly two decade’s worth of passenger sweat fall in the last two months,” said a TFL spokesman.

“Obviously the system isn’t designed to handle these record levels of commuter excretion. We thought the extra breeze generated from buskers playing the saxophone may have helped cool the network, but this was not the case.”

TFL suggest passengers take precautions when traveling during hot weather – such as carrying a bottle of water, not physically moving ever again, or quitting your job, staying home and drinking cold lager.