Facebook To Offer Users ‘Comfort Feeds’

Tech News: The social network has announced plans to restrict difficult and challenging content on user’s news feeds to instead focus on cute animals and nice food.

“Let’s face it, Facebook has never been about reality,” said a spokesman for the company.

“Most people you call friends on Facebook aren’t actually your friends – and you don’t genuinely like any of the crap they’ve posted on Facebook.”

“Our users don’t want to be confused or upset by the modern world and your opinion on it – they’d just rather curl up on the couch in a onesie and gawp at a carousel of soft-focus hamburgers and adorable animals dressed up in human clothes.”

“Comfort Feeds represent an exciting new way for people to further distance themselves from society, while simultaneously feeling more connected,” said company founder Mark Zuckerberg.

“This will allow people to suckle deep and hard at the teat of Facebook without the worry of seeing anything distressing, like reality.”