News p.4

Someone tried to smuggle drugs into the US disguised as watermelons – 17 juicy takedowns of the laughable fakes

An Oasis fan bemoaned young women buying tickets for their Britpop heroes and this A++ comeback got a standing ovation

27 mind-blowing examples of the craziest two things or people to exist at the same time

The Met Police were found to be bad at “preventing crime” and “investigating crime” – 16 adequate responses

Nick Cave’s response to a man who has lost faith in humanity is the most gorgeous think you’ll hear today

This judge’s savage takedown of a Plymouth rioter went wildly viral and it’s a blisteringly essential read

Andy Murray had the best reaction to a poll finding 1 in 4 Brits think they could be Olympians in 2028 if they train from now

RIP to Aussie Jack Karlson, star of the funniest, most quotable real life arrest video of all time

Joe Lycett’s open letter to Nigel Farage ends with a brilliant joke about his choice of font

This comedian’s old gag about immigration and integration in Britain is as relevant today as ever

This Yorkshirewoman’s speech about being proudly working class and anti-racist is just the thing you need to hear this week

Of all the brilliant gags about the protestors occupying a traffic island, this one was simply magic

This attempt to occupy a traffic roundabout is today’s biggest racist riots facepalm

Nigel Farage’s excuse for spreading misinformation was that he heard it from that bastion of reliability – Andrew Tate

Nigel Farage was asked if he’s worried about the police knocking on his door and he really doesn’t like it up him